We have never been the family that names our kids while in utero. Wish we were... honestly, I thought we'd get close with this one and possibly have a name in advance of her birth. Ian and Campbell were both named hours from leaving the hospital. Typically we have a list of 5 or so names that we toss around... with one or both of the boys, I put index cards with names on the cupboards so I could get a feel for the name in every day use. I thought maybe we'd get settled with one and the family could spend the last couple of months talking to her by name, etc.
This go-around I'm a little miffed. I mean, how do you expect me to get cozy with a name when I didn't get my full 36-40 weeks of prep time. 27 weeks is way too early for me. So, not only do you have to get comfy with a name, you now have to hustle. I felt even more anxiety, because our little girl is down in the NICU and known to her doctors and nurses as simply "Girl Russell". How sad. I was at a crossroads, didn't want to feel rushed and yet wanted her to have a name.
We had a list of names .... but as always, we didn't all agree. In the past, it was just Jon and I who had a say, but this time Ian had a favorite as well. He wanted to call her Delaney. I won't lie ... part of me considered going with his choice just so he could say he'd named her and they could share that. Jon was partial to Sloane, and Ainsley ... we'd always liked the name Elise and for the longest time I thought that was the one... Elise - but we would call her Ellie. Turns out Ellie is becoming quite common lately and when I found out another Mom on the "best rest" floor was naming her baby Elise too, that name soon fell to the bottom of the list. I liked "Kate", mostly because of the way it flowed with the boys. "Ian, Campbell & Kate". I just liked the way it sounded as a "group". I tend to way over think these things. Sloane was out because every other person we mentioned it to associated it with Grey's Anatomy. Not having watched that show, we didn't know about Dr Sloane, or his daughter named Sloane.... I'm guessing there will be many more Sloane's out there... (side note 6/10:Tonight, our nurse, who is expecitng in Aug. mentioned she is having a girl. Her name is Sloane. LOL)
It was late Saturday and I'm sure I was still feeling somewhat overwhelmed with everything that had happened. I was growing tired of hearing "What's her name?" Of, course, that's a totally reasonable question when you've just delivered... I just didn't know. I wanted to see her, I wanted to get a feel for who she was, get a peak into her personality ... all things you can do when you deliver a full term baby. But our little girl was connected head to toe with wires and gadgets... and unless we were going to call her Duracell or lemon-head (seriously, her head was the size of a lemon ... ) I wasn't going to have that confirmation you get with a "normal birth" where you can cuddle them and get a good feeling of who they are.
So, Saturday evening, Jon went to grab a bite after seeing the baby and all I knew is that there was a little girl downstairs who needed a name. The caregivers should know here by name, not just "baby girl Russell". There were people all around the world who were praying for her and I wanted them to pray for her by name ... Sunday many would fast on her behalf and I wanted them to fast specifically for her and she deserved a name. So, I texted Jon and told him when he got back we needed to go back to to the NICU that night and tell them her name. I'd whittled it down to this, Elise Harris, Ainsley Harris and Anne Elise. (Anne had never been on a list, but it's my middle name, so I tossed it out there for a hot second. Anne Elise sounded good together, but we'd still use Ellie, so it was kind of mute.) So, Ainsley it was.
Ainsley Harris Russell. Jon really liked it, I was getting used to it and the boys could pronounce it. Sounds strange, I know - but I really wanted to be sure the kids could actually say her name. Harris is a family name on my side. Both the boys share names through the Russell side (Ian Clark and Campbell Forrest) and now Ainsley shares the maiden name of my Grandmother, Gwen.
I guess there was a sense of relief when she was named. She had an identity. A bit of the mystery was unravelled- this teeny tiny baby was now a person with a name, something that she will carry with her forever. Something that will help mold and define her as grows. Hope she likes it. I hope she doesn't look back at the list, kick us in the shins and say, "Seriously, Ainsley?? You had a killer list of names and you went with Ainsley". Man, you guys really stink at this name thing." ha..ha.
I think her having a name helped me too. Having a pre-term baby that's rushed to the NICU is very surreal. I'd just had a baby, yet beyond my C-Section incision and my elevated blood pressure, I had nothing to show for it. I'd been able to touch her, but had yet to hold her. Until now, it's like she was a baby in the NICU that shared our last name. Now, it felt different. Now, WE had named her ... Ainsley Russell ... and in a strange way, it felt different and a little more complete.
This go-around I'm a little miffed. I mean, how do you expect me to get cozy with a name when I didn't get my full 36-40 weeks of prep time. 27 weeks is way too early for me. So, not only do you have to get comfy with a name, you now have to hustle. I felt even more anxiety, because our little girl is down in the NICU and known to her doctors and nurses as simply "Girl Russell". How sad. I was at a crossroads, didn't want to feel rushed and yet wanted her to have a name.
We had a list of names .... but as always, we didn't all agree. In the past, it was just Jon and I who had a say, but this time Ian had a favorite as well. He wanted to call her Delaney. I won't lie ... part of me considered going with his choice just so he could say he'd named her and they could share that. Jon was partial to Sloane, and Ainsley ... we'd always liked the name Elise and for the longest time I thought that was the one... Elise - but we would call her Ellie. Turns out Ellie is becoming quite common lately and when I found out another Mom on the "best rest" floor was naming her baby Elise too, that name soon fell to the bottom of the list. I liked "Kate", mostly because of the way it flowed with the boys. "Ian, Campbell & Kate". I just liked the way it sounded as a "group". I tend to way over think these things. Sloane was out because every other person we mentioned it to associated it with Grey's Anatomy. Not having watched that show, we didn't know about Dr Sloane, or his daughter named Sloane.... I'm guessing there will be many more Sloane's out there... (side note 6/10:Tonight, our nurse, who is expecitng in Aug. mentioned she is having a girl. Her name is Sloane. LOL)
It was late Saturday and I'm sure I was still feeling somewhat overwhelmed with everything that had happened. I was growing tired of hearing "What's her name?" Of, course, that's a totally reasonable question when you've just delivered... I just didn't know. I wanted to see her, I wanted to get a feel for who she was, get a peak into her personality ... all things you can do when you deliver a full term baby. But our little girl was connected head to toe with wires and gadgets... and unless we were going to call her Duracell or lemon-head (seriously, her head was the size of a lemon ... ) I wasn't going to have that confirmation you get with a "normal birth" where you can cuddle them and get a good feeling of who they are.
So, Saturday evening, Jon went to grab a bite after seeing the baby and all I knew is that there was a little girl downstairs who needed a name. The caregivers should know here by name, not just "baby girl Russell". There were people all around the world who were praying for her and I wanted them to pray for her by name ... Sunday many would fast on her behalf and I wanted them to fast specifically for her and she deserved a name. So, I texted Jon and told him when he got back we needed to go back to to the NICU that night and tell them her name. I'd whittled it down to this, Elise Harris, Ainsley Harris and Anne Elise. (Anne had never been on a list, but it's my middle name, so I tossed it out there for a hot second. Anne Elise sounded good together, but we'd still use Ellie, so it was kind of mute.) So, Ainsley it was.
Ainsley Harris Russell. Jon really liked it, I was getting used to it and the boys could pronounce it. Sounds strange, I know - but I really wanted to be sure the kids could actually say her name. Harris is a family name on my side. Both the boys share names through the Russell side (Ian Clark and Campbell Forrest) and now Ainsley shares the maiden name of my Grandmother, Gwen.
I guess there was a sense of relief when she was named. She had an identity. A bit of the mystery was unravelled- this teeny tiny baby was now a person with a name, something that she will carry with her forever. Something that will help mold and define her as grows. Hope she likes it. I hope she doesn't look back at the list, kick us in the shins and say, "Seriously, Ainsley?? You had a killer list of names and you went with Ainsley". Man, you guys really stink at this name thing." ha..ha.
I think her having a name helped me too. Having a pre-term baby that's rushed to the NICU is very surreal. I'd just had a baby, yet beyond my C-Section incision and my elevated blood pressure, I had nothing to show for it. I'd been able to touch her, but had yet to hold her. Until now, it's like she was a baby in the NICU that shared our last name. Now, it felt different. Now, WE had named her ... Ainsley Russell ... and in a strange way, it felt different and a little more complete.
I love this story, thanks for sharing. I think its a perfect name :)
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